Tensions and problems will always arise within the family structure, among friends or at the workplace, but we can learn how to deal effectively with them and prevent them from eroding the trust and intimacy that we have. When we know why a person is upset, we know better how to deal with him/her, and how to resolve the problem. In Matthew (5:21-23) Jesus teach us on that subject in a very effective way.
Here are the three phases of resolution to conflict: Recall, Resolve, and Forgive.
Memories are not always happy moments, there are also memories that hurt us inside and stay with us forever. Memories store every fear, hurt and frustration. You may or may not have dealt with the conflict, but the hurt will still remain. What you have to do is reflect in your mind on the part you may have played in an angry exchange with maybe your “spouse or child”. Think about it and see the part you are responsible for. If you take time and breathe and think about the situation you will recall the words the other person was trying to say before you got angry. This will give you insight into the real cause of the conflict and show you what you are truly upset about.
Unresolved conflict will block your ability to worship. In Matthew (5:23-34), Jesus said that resolving conflict is more important than worship. The word danger is the word anger with a d in front of it. To approach a person about an unresolved conflict may be a scary, dangerous thought to you, but it is worth it. Your spouse, child, boss or neighbor needs to be freed from the bind they are in because of a strained relationship with you. Do whatever it takes to resolve the conflict.
In Matthew (18:21-22) it states the limit of our forgiveness: seventy time seven (meaning, limitless)! We all need forgiveness for wrongs we have done, and likewise we must forgive those who have hurt us. God was willing to forgive our sins and remember them no more, and so too must we do in our interactions with others.
The goal of every person should be to recall, resolve, and then truly forgive anger wrath, and all forms of conflict.
"As water reflects the face,
so one’s life reflects the heart."